Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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