dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
