it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
