I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
