its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
