it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
