She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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