You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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