his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
