I must be too annoying 4 u.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
