My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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