dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
