Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
