dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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