She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Two words: blizzard sex
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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