sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I love having hate sex.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
