My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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