No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
