I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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