can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
