Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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