sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
where am i from again
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
