So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
