Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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