I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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