Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
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One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?