but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.