Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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