Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I believe in your delicious
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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