she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
