My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
