Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
