Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize