Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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