And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
