I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize