you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
