it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
