This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
