At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
