is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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