I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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