Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize