You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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