My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
