Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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