I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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