Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
