Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you would pick up someone in the library
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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