Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
