One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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