On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She needs sedatives and a leash
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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