WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
