i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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