she was so not down for the gang bang
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
