He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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