Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
