Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
