You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
