Nicole vs. Life
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
