well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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